Monday, 22 October 2007

Handling Peer Pressure


By Ipinnaiye Opeyemi

Enitan had not taken alcohol before but was forced to when she hung out with her friends; the fear of being different in the group led her to taking alcohol which destabilized her. After that encounter, she vowed never to taste alcohol again.

This is an example of peer pressure, there is this assumption that peer pressure affects mostly young people but adults encounter peer pressure directly or indirectly. In the early 90s, the trend was for many families in my church to buy Mercedes Benz cars, if you did not have this brand in your fleet of cars you were not considered to be socially affluent.

Peer pressure is the influence of a social group on an individual; it is social pressure by members of one’s group to take certain actions, adopt certain values or otherwise conform in order to be accepted. It tends to drive individuals to do things they would not normally do.

In some cases, peer pressure could make a positive impact in the life of an individual but at times peer pressure is more associated with negative consequences. Peer pressure comes in various forms, it is very important to be assertive; this is a very important life building skills which if applied in our daily activities can help handle peer pressure.

It is always advisable to associate with friends that will make a positive impact in your life. If you find yourself in the same situation I found myself while I was in the university days where my room mates partied, drank and smoked, will you join the band wagon solely because you do not want to be called names? You need to stand up for what you are and believe in, place a high priority on your values.

Picture your goals and examine the consequences of yielding to peer pressure as these may hinder the achievement of your goals.

Peer pressure can be positive if used correctly, one way of avoiding peer pressure is to be your own person. Avoid the trap of conforming to other people’s opinions and ideas especially if you feel these are morally wrong.

If you cannot handle peer pressure, steer clear of company that would coerce you to do things that will undermine your self-esteem.

Monday, 8 October 2007

Playing the Blame Game


A recent development in society brings to mind a popular nursery rhyme about a funny little man called Mr Nobody who gets blamed for everything that happens. There seems to be a recent trend to blame not Mr Nobody but Mr Somebody. It seems to me no one wants to take responsibility for their actions anymore. They would rather blame someone else for their own failures or inabilities.

We are all quick to blame other people for our shortcomings and inactions. The overweight person would rather blame the Fast food companies rather than their own inability to exercise self-control as being responsible for their weight problems.

Teenagers and young people would rather blame the school system, their teachers, parents; everybody but themselves for their poor academic performance rather than their own inability to apply themselves diligently to their studies.

The upsurge in murders and violent crimes in recent times has been blamed on everything from childhood abuse, parental neglect to anger at the government and the society as a whole. Nobody seems to think it as a result of people making conscious choices to deliberately instil fear in their fellow men in order to assuage their own self- esteem problems.

There is an increase in alcohol and tobacco addiction, blame the companies, ban advertising, include warning signs on packaging; yet with all these seemingly drastic measures, the number of addicts keeps rising daily.

Political leaders in developing countries are quick to point accusing fingers at developed countries for their lack of economic growth rather than admit that corrupt practices and their own ineptitude is responsible for their failure.

I could go on and on with various illustrations of this “blame game”. I know I stand the risk of being misunderstood about what I am trying to say. Although, I acknowledge that there are many people with genuine problems battling addictions and other psychological problems which are plaguing them through no fault of their own, there are also many people who find themselves in this position as a result of deliberate decisions they have made.

As long as we all continue to blame others rather than take responsibilities for our actions, many societal ills will continue abated and measures taken to tackle them will be akin to treating the symptoms of a disease while neglecting its root cause.

Thursday, 27 September 2007

The Facts about Antiretroviral Therapy


by Ipinnaiye Opeyemi Isaiah, Nigeria

It is disheartening to find out that people living with HIV/AIDS are not adequately informed about antiretroviral therapy. Rather than the drugs suppressing the virus other complications could arise as a result of lack of adequate information about antiretroviral therapy.

Antiretroviral drugs are drugs that reduce the multiplication of the HIV/AIDS virus that attacks the immune system. Antiretroviral helps the immune system become strong enough that it is able to keep out opportunistic infections and improves one’s chances of feeling better. It is important to know that if a person is diagnosed with HIV/AIDS the use of antiretroviral drugs should not start immediately. The individual must undergo CD4 Test, viral test and the sensitivity test.

The CD4 test is used to determine the strength and level of your body’s immune system. If the level of the person’s immune system (CD4) is low, in the range of 350 and below, the person should start the use of antiretroviral drugs. The World Health Organization’s recommendation is that if the CD4 level is below 200 one should initiate the antiretroviral, but within Nigeria, a rate of 350 is highly recommended by the World Health Organization due to environmental factors such as nutritional concerns and the nature of our environment.

After a CD4 Test is carried out, if Antiretroviral is recommended by the doctor, it is important that the person does the sensitivity test in order to know the kind of drugs that will be compatible with the body of the person as there are serious side effects. When the test is done, the person can start using antiretroviral drugs. There are many types such as Lamivudine, Stavudine, Zidovudine, Effavirenz and Nevirapine. Side effects include headache, nausea, stomach discomfort, loss of appetite and the list goes on, that is why emphasis should be put on practicing the sensitivity test in order to know the best form of Antiretroviral to use. Pregnant women using antiretroviral drugs should not be concerned but it is very important for your doctor to know that you are pregnant as some types of the drug are safer during pregnancy period than others. Missing a dosage could affect the person so make sure that you tell the doctor when you miss a dosage and if you must stop taking antiretroviral talk to your doctor.

People living with HIV/AIDS (PLWHA) should remember that you can improve your chances of feeling better and living longer with HIV/AIDS by visiting your doctor regularly and always remember to use the Antiretroviral drugs regularly; this will slow down the HIV from multiplying and attacking your system.

Sunday, 16 September 2007

ENJOYING THE MOMENT


Alicia Jones



I was thinking (I do this a lot. My friends tell me I am always thinking).


Where was I? Yes, I was thinking and I thought why not put your thoughts down in writing so forgive me if sometimes I sound like I am rambling.


I am really at a loose end right now. I thought doing another degree would automatically help me get a better job and now I am thinking maybe it wasn't such a good idea.


Funny, isn't it how we say to ourselves, if only I had a better job I would earn more money. If only I had this or that qualification or more education, I would be able to get a better job or if only I was earning more money or if only I was married or had children, I would be happier. So many 'if onlys'.


However, when we do get our wishes they often fall far below our expectations and we sometimes are left worse off than before.


I think happiness has nothing to do with our circumstances or our position. It is or should be a state of the mind. You could be poor and happy (though that would be rather difficult); on the other hand, you could also be rich and very unhappy (as seen by examples of celebrities with various emotional troubles).


I guess happiness is all about accepting your situation and learning to deal with it until the situation changes. It is about seeing the good and the positive in every situation.
They say the grass always looks greener on the other side. Many of us spend our lives looking into the future, worrying so much about what is not that we have very little time to enjoy what is. Take time to smell the roses is a popular saying. Yes, take time to enjoy the present, accept each new day as a divine gift and enjoy it. Enjoy the small things in life, quit worrying about the big things.


As for me, I have decided to make the Serenity prayer my mantra; to accept each day as it comes with a grateful heart, to deal with the things I can deal with and to accept the things I cannot change with peace in my heart.

Alicia's Blog: aliciasreflection.blogspot.com

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

THE ROLE OF COUNSELING IN THE WORK PLACE


Ipinnaiye Opeyemi

'Mike has made a good reputation in his organization for his efficiency in carrying out his duties effectively, he has won so many staff awards and enjoyed promotions because of his outstanding performance but things suddenly changed, Mike comes late to work, he cannot meet up with deadlines as usual and prefers to keep to himself? What has gone wrong with Mike?'
This is where counseling plays a meaningful role in an organization. At times everyone feels stressed out, depressed, angry, anxious or confused, sometimes these problems gradually go away on their own or they get better with the support of colleagues, friends and family. However there are other times when these problems can cause major disruptions in our lives and affect our performance at work and interaction with others. It is necessary to seek for counseling to help identify the problems, as the saying goes 'a problem shared is half solved'

Counseling is a process where a counselor assists a counselee to take informed decision of problems related to personal, social, academic and career concerns. It is very important to seek for counseling when you discover that a situation is weighing you down.

Some workplaces do not have provision for a professional counselor but line managers, supervisors or colleagues can be in a position to assist in taking the necessary course of action.

There are three areas where counseling may be required at the workplace; it maybe needed because of issues arising within the individual, caused by the organization or emanating from sources external to both the individual and organization.

Problems arising within the individual may be psychological or due to uncontrollable events like illness. Examples of psychological problems include frustration, lack of job satisfaction, arrogance and inability to succeed.

Problems caused by the work organization acting on the individual include technical incompetence, under-utilization, relationships with colleagues and superiors and uncertain future where there may be work changes or threats of redundancy.

Problems from outside the individual and work place may not really have an impact on the quality of the employee's work. This could be in form of problems around money, marital or sexual relationship, family (behavior of children, illness and bereavement.)

Establishing the main problem is the key factor in any successful counseling. The main problem is almost always something personal and very close to the individual being counseled and it is the recognition and solution of this emotional content which makes counseling so effective.

Effective counseling requires high level of interpersonal skills such as establishing rapport, ability to discern meaning, as well as being able to summarise, clarify and ask the right questions.

The request for counseling may be formally or informally made to the individual’s immediate supervisor. It may take the form of, 'can I have a few minutes of your time?' The manager plays an important role in many work- related issues. The manager can often deal with the personal problems but if it is beyond the scope of the manager, he or she can refer the individual to a more experienced counselor. It is important that managers display interest in their staff, create mutual confidence, be impartial, consult staff and set an example. This will give the staff a sense of belonging to approach their managers for counseling.

Do not let your problems get the best of you; seek for counseling before it affects your performance at work. Remember counseling helps you to help yourself!


Opeyemi Ipinnaiye is the Programme Support Officer Secure Livelihoods of VSO Nigeria.

WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?


Alicia Jones

This week I had the opportunity of watching a film about Tina Turner's life. After a traumatic experience with love, at the age of 44 she launched a come back and released an album with the above title that broke so many chart records.

Turner's story got me thinking about the often misunderstood and misinterpreted emotion called love.

Love! How can a single word mean so much and so little depending on how you look at it? It means different things to different people. The word is so often misused that it's quite easy to lose track of its true meaning.

Love is patient...... love is about accepting a person for who they are and giving them the opportunity to improve themselves at their own pace.

Love does not seek its own way..... Love is putting the other person's interests first always. Imagine how nice the world would be if we were all considerate of other people's feelings. There would be fewer violent crimes, no terrorism, no wars......

Love keeps no account of wrongdoings....just imagine how many marriages would be saved if this were true.

Love forgives all things....because we are all different individuals we will have differences of opinion or step on each other's toes at some point in time. Love helps us to forgive all wrongs and hurts.
Hurting someone you love should be like hurting yourself. If we all think and act in love, we would be better for it.

Alicia's Blog: aliciasreflection.blogspot.com

PERSONAL FINANCE 101


Author: David Berky

The subject of personal finance is very broad, but as a beginning, I would like to discuss what I consider the foundations of personal finance: Security, Stability, Growth and Protection & Management.

Security
Security to me means that I am prepared for the "hit by a bus" scenario. I have life insurance to provide for my wife and children. Health, disability, auto and home insurance policies also provide me additional protection in their respective areas. I also have a list of where these policies are, who my agents are, phone numbers and basic policy information (#s, amounts, costs, etc.) I keep this information both in a file at my house and in a safety deposit box at the bank (a friends home will also work - think: "house burns down" scenario). Also my wife and my brother and sister-in-law who live nearby also know where these things are. I also try to maintain an emergency fund of cash in a bank account or money market account (with checks) so that I am prepared for a financial disaster, layoff, or natural disaster. It took several years to build up this cash fund. I started with a goal to have enough cash for 6 months of my normal financial needs (mortgage, food, insurance, transportation, etc.). Now I am trying for 12 months' worth. I do this by saving a little each month, and "investing" a portion of all "found" money (gifts, inheritances, tax returns, anything unexpected). I have a will and update it each year around New Year's to reflect any changes in my life during the past year (new children, new home or business, etc.). Most people don't need an extensive will, the forms you buy at your office supply store will do. But in some states if you die without one, watch out. What happens to your money and even your children could be entirely up to some state or court appointed official.

Stability
The next level of personal finance is stability. Stability to me means that first of all I live within my means. I don't spend more than I earn. Otherwise I am spending my savings, investments, emergency money, or getting into debt. I have a lot of debt, but most of it is real estate which is producing some income. I try to avoid credit card debt and purchase everything with money I already have. I don't buy things expecting that next month I will have more money or I will get a big raise or promotion. You can't sell me a car based on a monthly payment amount; I want to know the final price! In order to make sure that I am living within my means, I created a simple budget and I track my expenses using Simple Joe's Expense Tracker. I can tell how much I have spent in each budget category and I know when to keep a closer eye on certain types of expenses, or when and where I can cut expenses and what I can live without in order to stay within my budget. Counting pennies is pretty tedious, but tracking where the dollars go can be eye-opening. Another aspect of stability is avoiding or eliminating debt. Debt in itself is a form of stability; you always have to make those payments until it is all paid off. Some recent reports show that the average American is $7,000 - $20,000 in debt. Most of it is consumer debt: credit cards, store accounts, rent-to-own, auto loans, etc. And those types of consumer debt usually charge a higher interest rate than any savings account, CD, or money market account; even more than most high-flying risky investments. This means that $1,000 in debt at 18% is costing you 9 times what your $1,000 savings account at 2% is producing. Consumer debt is a dangerous spiral that is very hard to get out of. The first problem is, as mentioned before, living within your means. Don't get further into debt to support an extravagant lifestyle. Or even if you are frugal, if you are using credit cards and debt to finance your purchases, you either need to stop purchasing luxury items or find a way to increase your income to support these purchases/payments. You may even have to lower your standard-of-living because you have racked up considerable debt and need to free up some money to pay it down. But don't wait to start. Those minimum payments are often designed to keep you paying 18% interest for 40 years! That's longer than most home loans. You could even end up paying more than 10 times the original cost of the item just in interest payments. Is that new stereo really worth that much? To help people get themselves out of debt we created the "Pay Off My Debts" tool in Simple Joe's Money Tools. It is also available as a stand-alone product called Simple Joe's Debt Eraser. These tools help you create a Rapid Debt Reduction Plan which shows you how much to pay on each debt each month in order to save as much on interest charges as possible and pay off your debts as soon as possible. These tools can help you systematically eliminate your debts whether you owe $1,000 or $100,000. The key is to start living below your means and start focusing on paying off your debt. It doesn't make much sense to be worried about whether or not your 401k earns 8 or 9% this year, if you are paying 21% on your credit card debt. A third aspect that starts in the stability category and transcends to the next personal finance level, growth, is the concept of investing in yourself. By this I mean spending time to educate yourself in personal finance matters, as you are doing right now and spending time gaining more knowledge and improving your skills or even developing new ones. As an employee, this can have a direct relation to who gets laid off during the next round of cutbacks. If you have some skills or have demonstrated some abilities that are not possessed by your co-workers and these skills make you a more valuable employee, you are less likely to get the pink-slip. Also while you are making yourself more valuable to your current employer, you are also making yourself worth more to future employers. It is much easier to land a job if you have some special skills that are in high demand or even if you bring some special knowledge or experience that you fellow job-seekers may have overlooked or failed to invest in. Being in the computer industry, I have to spend hours each week reading trade magazines, exploring web sites, and reading emailed newsletters to keep abreast of what is new in my field. If I stopped learning just five years ago, I would have missed out on the Internet revolution, email, web sites and the majority of the income I now enjoy. Keeping myself informed and up to date takes time and resources, but it helps me protect my current income and expand my skills to help me earn income in other areas. This increases my stability by allowing me to not have to rely on one client, employer or source of income. A chair with four legs will always be more stable than a stool with only three.

Growth
The next level of personal finance, as I alluded to before, is growth. Once you are secure and stable, you can begin to think about building your wealth. Not that you have to figure out how to become the next Bill Gates or Warren Buffet. But you have to start building the "nest-egg" that you will rely on when you retire. And don't think that Social Security has you covered, or that your 401k will grow back to what it was a couple years ago. Or that your current employer is going to re-institute the generous pension plans of yesteryear. 401ks are much cheaper to administer and you, the employee, take the hit when the market goes down, not the employer. My father is nearing retirement age and I think he has a good plan. He has done some research and estimated what his expenses are going to be when he is retired. He then took a look at his potential sources of income during his retirement. He figured that Social Security would cover about a third of what he wanted to live on. Only a third! And he has worked his entire life. Would you like to instantly have to live on only one third of what you currently make? Retirement is suppose to be the golden years, so where's the gold? Luckily throughout his career, my father has worked for companies that have had pension plans and he had worked long enough at each company to be eligible for some pension money. This is rare these days because today the average worker will change jobs and companies at least five times during his/her career. Also, as I mentioned before, companies are switching to lower cost 401k plans that do not guarantee you any fixed payments. In my father's situation, his pension money would cover another third of the retirement income he wanted. So now he had to either figure out where the last third was going to come from, or start cutting out expenses during retirement, like not visiting his children so much. None of us liked the sound of that. So my father started learning about the stock market and investing in stocks and mutual funds. He made a plan for growing his wealth and then educated himself as to how he could accomplish his plan. I wish I could say that he is doing better than he is, but luckily he has some time still to put his plan into action and ride out any market downturns. (He can do this because he has the security of insurance and emergency money, and the stability of little debt and a strong set of skills.) By learning about how stocks, bonds, mutual funds, index funds, options, futures, commodities, real estate and other financial tools work you lay the foundation for growing your wealth. You may start with just $100 in a bank CD, but as you learn more and become more sophisticated, you can invest in more and more opportunities. You will learn about how risk and reward are related, that as the risk increases so does the size of the potential reward. Just like at the race track, you'll make more on the long shot, but the odds are against it. Also you can learn how to tilt the odds in your favor and protect yourself against risk. For those who are just starting out in the growth phase or who want to dabble a bit before completing the other levels of personal finance, my suggestion would be to look into index mutual funds. Especially no-load index funds (no initial/sales fee). These funds are made up of the same stocks that make up the popular market indexes like the Dow Jones, S&P and NASDAQ100. The costs are low because management is simple and as a mutual fund you can invest a little at a time. Also they are easy to follow since you see them on all the news shows and in the newspaper.

Protection and Management
The final level of personal finance is the protection and management of your wealth. Most people never develop wealth enough to need this level. But some of the concepts can be applied to any amount of wealth you possess, $10,000 to $10,000,000. Part of the protection harks back to your will as we discussed on the first personal finance level: security. With any significant wealth or valuable asset (your home, car, heirlooms, 401k, IRA, business, etc.) you will want some way of disposing of that asset upon your death. Whether it is go to go your family, favorite charity, or local church, if no one knows about it, "it ain't gonna happen". As you start to accumulate wealth in excess of $350,000, you may want to consult an attorney about creating a trust. A trust is an entity that can own property and pass that property to anyone you name in your will. Usually the trust is designed to provide income to children from the assets that are placed in the trust. The trust can survive you so that your assets and income may be passed on to your children or next-of-kin without excessive taxation and legal entanglements. Some states will take up to 55% of your assets as taxes when you pass away. Protection also relates back to insurance. Now it may be time to look at a multi-million dollar umbrella policy that will protect you from lawsuits designed to part you and your wealth. You may now be a bigger target, so purchase a suit of armor. The management aspect comes into play where you may start to concern yourself with taxation, ownership, distribution of income and possibly endowments to charities or other non-profit institutions. You may hire a person or company to manage your wealth, or you may choose to do it yourself. Most people who have earned their wealth through the "sweat of their brow" have already become adept at managing their assets. Some continue to personally manage their wealth because of the enjoyment or challenge it gives them. Others are ready to turn it over to a trustworthy manager (who only gets paid a percentage of your increase) and travel the world, or sit on a beach and count the waves. Whatever your dreams for retirement (and why wait until you are 65), understanding the different levels of personal finance and spending the time and resources to educate yourself will pay off whether you live next to Bill Gates or Homer Simpson.

© Simple Joe, Inc. David Berky is president of Simple Joe, Inc. a marketing company that sells simple software under the brand name of Simple Joe. One of Simple Joe's best selling products is Simple Joe's Money Tools - a collection of 14 personal finance and investment calculators.